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more importantly, mr.m. had pointed me in the direction of hensons writing, which was, at the time, not well known, and now is. henson had written the dialogues of the bandit-king, and the sleeping prince.
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here then was a juxtaposition of the nerdy and the hapless that offered me a freudian analysis of and, to some degree, submission to femininity that was - and remains, to my shame and discomfort - part of my definition of womanhood. as a younger man, i had been intrigued by the idea of men who behaved as women, but in my experience, this was precluded by genitalism. when a film such asand was produced by one of the few gay directors of the late 1970s and eighties, newmans and newmans, i felt that a coming out was involved -- for the actors, but in some ways, for myself as well. efron, to be a successful film actor, had to be butch, and the period was filled with butch men, from robert redford, to sean penn, to henson. it was not until my early thirties that i realized that a butch man could be taken quite seriously as a sensitive and sensitive man. or not, as the case may be. cate blanchett is a fabulous example. henson had been touched by homosexuality, but it was never explicit in his movies, in part because he was simply too busy making a heterosexual male genre film. i thought that the twenties and early thirties of robert mapplethorpe were fascinating because he embraced both the man who imagines himself as woman and the man who imagines himself as woman, which has the effect of making it easy to consider how the two are both and neither. at the same time, mapplethorpe was, of course, a homosexual artist, which made him an anomaly.